As an adult whenever we experience anger, we look at the most rational thing to do at the moment, which may be to talk it over or reason out our anger. When it comes to children, temper tantrums are one way of expressing anger or frustration. Your child may have thrown a tantrum because you didn't buy something he asked for or because you wouldn't allow him to do what he wanted to do.
It's very embarrassing for a parent, especially when this happens in public and the easiest thing to do is to give in and allow him to have what he wants just to avoid a scene. But all that it teaches him is that the next time he wants something, all he has to do is scream, shout or kick.
Help! What do I do now?
1. The best course in this situation is to be firm and ignore the outburst as far as possible. Of course that is easier said than done. If you are in a public place, take the child out so you can at least avoid the disapproving glares of other adults. At home you could leave the room yourself. You will feel stressed out, but do resist the temptation to give in. If you've already got into the 'giving in' groove, it's harder to get out of it, but it is possible.
2. After a few such episodes, your child will learn that this behaviour no longer gets him what he wants. In a calmer moment you can explain that you will not listen when he screams, but if he speaks in a normal, polite tone, you will listen (and be sure you do!)
3. With a very young child, it may help to hug him tightly. He is often totally out of control and holding him prevents him from hurting himself or others and at the same time is reassuring.
4. Try to keep track of when these tantrums occur. Do they follow a pattern? You may notice that your child has more tantrums at a certain part of the day - as soon as he returns from play-school or just before dinner. A child who is over-tired, sleepy or hungry is more likely to have an outburst. If this is the case, putting the child to bed a little earlier, having him take a nap or giving him his meal or a nutritious snack ahead of time could ward off many bouts of temper.
5. It is important to remember to praise your child when he is well behaved, it will encourage him to .