SELF HELP RESOURCE - Relationships / Marriage


You may be the one in your relationship who wants couple's counseling, not because you and your partner cannot work on your issues, but because you want to look at healthier ways to work on it or because nothing else has been helping.

When you make up your mind to talk to your partner, do it one step at a time.

1. Think about why you really want couples therapy
Make sure of why you think counseling is needed. This could help you explain it to your partner better and give you clarity of the issue as well.

2. Be sure not to point fingers
Do not say we need couples counseling and then convey a long list of reasons where your spouse is going wrong. If your spouse feels you are blaming them for problems or implying that they are the reason for the needed therapy, they will most likely not agree. Put it across that WE as a couple could use counseling because OUR marriage needs help. Avoid blame, just share what you feel.

3. Choose a time to talk to your partner
Choose a time when both of you are composed and alone at home without any disturbances or distractions.

4. Prepare for any sort of reaction from your partner
Your partner may be accepting of the idea of couples counseling, however there are possibilities of him/her being upset about it as well.

5. Make the process simple and acceptable for both of you
Have a process in mind and tell your partner all that is to be done is to call and fix an appointment and then go in for counseling.

6. If your partner is still resistant
If your partner is resistant towards counseling, then perhaps you could consider individual counseling for yourself to work through the impact of the concerns in your marriage and prepare yourself to manage them better.

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