SELF HELP RESOURCE - Parenting / School Age


This issue is of particular concern to working parents who have limited time to be with their children. But even if a parent is at home all day with the child, there are so many tasks to be accomplished that she may not really spend much time directly interacting with him.

What is quality time?

If you interact with your child, actively listening to her, talking with her, and keeping it pleasant, that's quality time. The time spent is intimate and enjoyable. During this time, the parent conveys that he or she is fully there for the child (obviously you can't have one eye on the TV!) The child gets the crucial message that her parent really wants to be with her. Children need some quality time with their parents every day.

When your child has got your total attention, even for a short time, he will feel connected to you and less likely to engage in misbehaviour, tantrums or whining to get your attention. While you and your child engage in activities together, you will notice how much fun you are having and also that you are relating in a new way.

What it is NOT
This does not mean that you have to be exclusively at your child's beck and call all the time you are home.To be a well-functioning adult, you too need time and space for yourself. If you are tired at the end of the day or just need to be quiet or do something alone, explain this simply to your child. Tell him you will spend time with him later and keep your promise.
If you have spent quality time with your child and he keeps pestering you for more than you can give, say "No", and don't feel guilty.

What to do

 Do not have much time? Here are some ideas that you can fit into your daily routine.

  • Talk with your child while you drive to and from school/creche

  • Include your child in adult activities such as shopping or cooking. As long as you make him feel important or even helpful, you are giving your child quality time.

  • When you first get home from work, try to be with your kids for 5 minutes. Then give them something to do and look after yourself. You probably had a stressful day and you may need to relax, as well as prepare dinner.

  • If you are cooking or working at the computer, encourage your child to do something close by.

  • Make dinner a pleasant, unhurried time with the TV off.

  • Use the 30 minutes before bedtime to discuss your child's day with him, at his pace. End with your usual bedtime ritual.

Look up our section on Fun Activities for ideas on what to do when you have a little more time to spare. If you're providing some of this quality contact every day, you're doing fine!


Latest Comments

Frau on 03 Jan 2018, 23:11 PM

Kids deserve our quality time. They have waited for us, atleast after getting back from work, we should spend some time with them. Otherwise the bonding will not be strong.

Winner28 on 27 Feb 2017, 20:32 PM

the night time ..spend 30 mins.. is very well appreciated. I will try this out

Abhivats on 23 Jun 2016, 08:48 AM

Very True Mr Venkat i agree with you

venkateshr70 on 18 Sep 2015, 10:26 AM

very true,quality time is now when we are with our children or never.Because after some years we will have ony time but not our children with us when they are grown and gone away from us