SELF HELP RESOURCE - Relationships / Marriage


"Love one another, but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup.
Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping
And stand together yet not too near together"
                                                               ~Khahlil Gibran

Several thoughts come to mind when we use the term intimacy. It refers to closeness and bonding in our relationships with others. There are different types of intimacy - emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual, recreational and sexual. We may share certain intimacies with our family members, other intimacies with friends, and most intimacies with our partner/spouse.

The Six Types of Intimacy

Emotional Intimacy
This occurs when the trust level and communication between the partners is such that it fosters the mutual sharing of each other's innermost selves. For instance, by spending more time together, sharing and cultivating intimate conversations and being mutually supportive, partners can build and maintain a healthy level of intimacy. Sharing hopes, opinions and beliefs with each other without fear of ridicule creates a safe environment in which emotional intimacy can grow.

Intellectual Intimacy
This revolves around you being able to relate to your partner on an intellectual level. It usually requires a similar level of intelligence and/or education. You would be able to debate and discuss certain topics, or share knowledge on topics of mutual interest. Setting goals together is one way to further intellectual intimacy. For example, you might set goals to improve your intimacy, to save a certain amount of money, do certain things.

Spiritual Intimacy

This area focuses on faith, religious beliefs and practicing rites and rituals either individually or together, as a couple. Being able to practice and believe without being ridiculed or put down is a feature of spiritual intimacy.

Financial Intimacy
This area focuses on the sharing of one's monetary assets. It is important to discuss issues like separate and joint back accounts, which partner takes care of majority of the expenditure, how you will save, etc. Being transparent about finances is a feature of financial intimacy.

Recreational Intimacy
This area revolves around having both common and separate activities, enjoying time spent together and even exploring new experiences with your partner. For instance, joining the gym together, watching movies, going to favorite restaurants or even playing a board game further energizes this form of intimacy.

Sexual Intimacy
This focuses around the openness of being able to talk to your spouse about sex, engaging in sexual activities that both spouses enjoy and the sexual frequency between both the partners. Being comfortable to ask for what you want and being able to tell your partner if it's not right, in a way of not hurting him/her. For example: after a long tiring day, if you do not feel like engaging sexually with your partner, telling him/her without being hurtful.

If intimacy is neglected in a marriage, there are chances of the couple moving apart, so it pays to cultivate and enrich your intimacy. It is not an end goal but rather a journey that lasts throughout marriage.

Latest Comments

dikshalohiya on 03 Jun 2021, 23:18 PM

Didn\'t know types of intimacy can be explained so well!!! Insigtful