How to be the best version of yourself

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Self-improvement is a lifelong journey that involves continuously working towards becoming the best version of yourself. It is about making conscious decisions and taking proactive steps to enhance your personal growth, happiness, and overall well-being. Understanding this concept is crucial as it sets the foundation for your journey towards self-improvement.

Self-improvement starts with self-awareness. Take the time to evaluate your strengths, weaknesses, values, and goals. Reflecting on who you are and what you want to achieve will provide clarity and direction. Look within yourself to identify areas of improvement and set realistic expectations for your personal growth.

Embrace the idea of a growth mindset. Believe that you have the ability to learn, grow, and change throughout your life. Adopting a growth mindset allows you to view challenges as opportunities for learning and development. It helps you stay motivated and resilient in the face of setbacks.

Self-improvement is not about perfection. It is about progress. Embrace your imperfections and see them as opportunities for growth and learning. Be kind to yourself and practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same understanding and empathy you would show to a dear friend.

The importance of goal setting and the right way to do it

Here are a few things to keep in mind while planning your goals:

Set Specific Goals

Write down the goals that you would like to achieve, and then gradually break them down into as specific targets as possible. For example, many of us vow at the start of the year that we will exercise more. This is a great starting point, but narrowing your goal down a bit will help you be more realistic. How many times a week will you realistically be able to exercise? What are some common things that interfere with your exercise plan? Factoring all these things it will help you arrive at a more specific target. For example, “I am going to exercise every alternate day of the week after work.”


Once you have specific goals in mind, prepare for how you will reach them. Evaluate the time and energy involved and any obstacles that you may foresee (and plan for how to overcome these) and invest in making small and big changes in your daily routine. For example, if you have decided to exercise every other day after work, remember to keep your exercise bag packed the night before, carry a snack with you to give you extra energy, plan your work schedule for the day accordingly and ensure that you rest well the night before. Being prepared in all these small ways will give you the every day boosts that you need to keep working towards your goal.

Stock Up On Motivation

A year is a very long time. It is very natural for our energy and motivation to wane after a while. Our motivation to better ourselves never stays constant – we have to constantly find the energy to fuel our move towards change. Don’t be discouraged if you find that you are not too enthusiastic about what you’re working towards for a few days or even weeks. The trick is to surround yourself with triggers- find a buddy who is aware of your goal, find pictures, quotes, music – anything that lights that spark in you and gets you going again.

Have Role Models

Find someone in your environment who has the qualities or habits that you are looking to incorporate in yourself. Make a note of what this person does to maintain this trait or habit, and try to adopt the same approach. If this is someone you know, try and talk to them about how they maintain this practice. For instance, if you have always admired a colleague’s dressing sense and wanted to emulate that trait – note the attention that this person pays to their dressing sense, the time they invest in choosing their wardrobe, the money they set aside to invest in the same, the places they visit to shop. Making the same kind of effort that they do will eventually pay off for you as well.

It’s Okay To Have Slip-Ups

Remember, while you are in hot pursuit of growing and developing yourself, there may be days when your goal seems far away or seems unattainable. When you have days like this or slip into old habits, remember that this is natural and normal – no change happens instantly and easily. Every big change takes time, and sometimes slip-ups are part of this process. Acknowledge this, don’t give yourself a hard time and try to move on.

Review Your Goals

As we set out to achieve our goals, we find that many different things might come in the way of our targets. Review your goals periodically and see what methods are working for you, and always keep your eyes and ears open for new ways to try working towards your goal. For example, if you decide at the start of the year to exercise thrice a week after work but find that you are getting too tired to go through with exercise at the end of your work day, tweak your approach a bit. Try another time to exercise, such as in the mornings. Or, choose to exercise on days when your workload is not too stressful. The key is to be flexible in your approach.

Celebrating milestones and acknowledging the progress

Take the time to reflect on your accomplishments. Look back at where you started and the progress you have made. Recognize the challenges you have overcome and the lessons you have learned. Acknowledge the effort and dedication you have put into your self-improvement journey. Celebrate your milestones in a way that is meaningful to you. It could be treating yourself to something you enjoy, sharing your achievements with loved ones, or simply taking a moment to appreciate how far you have come. The important thing is to create a positive and rewarding experience for yourself.

The importance of self-reflection

Self-reflection is a powerful tool for personal growth. It involves intentionally looking inward and examining your thoughts, emotions, and actions. By taking the time to reflect on your experiences and choices, you gain valuable insights that can guide your journey towards being the best version of yourself.

Self-reflection helps you identify patterns and behaviours that may be holding you back. It allows you to recognize and challenge negative thought patterns and self-limiting beliefs. Through self-reflection, you can uncover your fears, insecurities, and doubts, and work towards overcoming them.

Make self-reflection a regular practice in your life. Set aside dedicated time each day or week to reflect on your experiences, goals, and progress. Consider keeping a journal to record your thoughts and insights. Use prompts such as “What did I learn today?” or “What am I grateful for?” to guide your reflections.

Engage in activities that promote self-reflection, such as meditation, mindfulness, or quiet contemplation. These practices create space for self-awareness and introspection. Disconnect from distractions, find a peaceful environment, and allow yourself to delve deep into your thoughts and emotions.

Building healthy habits that support growth

By cultivating positive habits, you can create a solid foundation for self-improvement and increase your chances of success.

  • Start by setting clear and specific goals as we discussed above. Define what you want to achieve and break it down into actionable steps. 
  • Designate specific times for activities that support your personal growth, such as exercise, reading, or self-reflection. 
  • Consistency is key when it comes to building habits, so make sure to stick to your routine even when it feels challenging.
  • Surround yourself with a supportive network. Engage in meaningful conversations and discussions that inspire and motivate you. Having a support system can provide accountability and encouragement on your journey towards self-improvement.
  • Practice self-care as a habit. Prioritise your physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Take breaks when needed, get enough sleep, eat nourishing foods, and engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation. Remember, self-improvement is not just about achieving goals; it is also about taking care of yourself along the way.

Becoming the best version of yourself is a lifelong journey that requires self-reflection, healthy habits, and celebrating milestones. It is about continuous growth, learning, and embracing your unique qualities. 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.

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