working mother

10 Best Tips For Going Back To Word After Maternity Leave

by Working Mother
working mother

Returning to work after maternity leave is a significant milestone for mothers. It marks the beginning of a new chapter, blending the responsibilities of parenthood with professional life. This transition, however, comes with its own unique set of challenges and emotions.  

Why is it so hard to return from maternity leave? 

As new mothers, you may relate to the feeling of exhaustion and uncertainty about how to get back to working at full capacity after being on maternity leave. The process of returning to work can become difficult as you would have formed an emotional bond with your baby during this leave period, making it difficult to leave them and return to the office.  

Emotions you may feel and how to cope with them 

It is normal to experience a mix of emotions from excitement, fear and apprehension while you are planning this transition. Feelings of guilt, anxiety, and the pressure to balance work and family responsibilities also contribute to the complexity of this transition. However, there is hope in knowing that there are ways to manage and transition smoothly into this phase of life post maternity leave. 

What do I need to know before going back? 

According to a study done in 2022 (Costantini Arianna, et al), returning to work after maternity leave can be less emotionally taxing if you have adequate social support from people you trust, which also leads to better focus while getting back to work.  

Hence it is important to understand and manage these emotions at the right time, identify and strengthen your support systems and be well-prepared before getting back to full-time work.  

10 Tips for Going Back to Work after Maternity Leave 

Let us look at a few tips to make the transition back to work post maternity leave, a smoother one for you:  

Understand your “why”

Before becoming a parent, you would have actively decided and chosen a job/career for a particular reason (for example, out of interest or necessity). It can help to remind yourself of that reason – what was it that made you say “yes” to your current role? What makes you want to resume work now? For example, resuming work post maternity leave can aid financial security, boost confidence and self-image, provide intellectual stimulation, gaining skills and raises in the upcoming years that you might have missed out on if you were to stay at home, and many more. It can therefore help to strengthen your motivation and preparation by reflecting on this.  

Plan

Organizing your return well in advance involves creating a schedule for yourself that accommodates both work and family responsibilities, planning for childcare, and ensuring you have a reliable support system in place (or taking time to identify and build on resources and support you may require) before and during your return to work. If possible, you can also consider a phased return to work, starting with part-time hours or shorter workdays to help you adjust gradually. 

Stay connected during Leave

There could be times when you are apprehensive about how to catch up on all the changes and pending work that might have come up during your leave, which would continue to keep you in a state of uncertainty and fear. However, it can help to stay in touch with people from your workplace during maternity leave itself. For example, staying informed about changes and updates, maintaining connections with colleagues in some form to make it easier when you return to the office, or having a check list of tasks or updates you would want to learn about once you return to work.  

Update Your Skills

Try to refresh your professional skills and knowledge during your maternity leave to stay updated about your industry and boost your confidence by learning new skills or re-familiarizing yourself with the skills/knowledge you already have. For example, attending workshops, online courses, or industry events, or getting in touch with colleagues or friends who can guide you on the same.  

Open Communication

While returning to work, even if you are prepared with how to gradually get back to your full capacity of work, there could be challenges that come up once you start work again. Hence, it can help to communicate openly with your employer/manager about your needs, expectations and challenges if any, or even to discuss flexible work arrangements and any other adjustments if you are noticing difficulties with balancing responsibilities upon your return to work.  

    Reframe Your Mindset

    While it can certainly be difficult to fulfill the responsibilities of being a “working mom”, it helps to remind yourself of how lucky you are to be one! Gratitude has a compounded positive influence on happiness, which you can read about here. This also means your choice of words matters the most when you are talking to yourself or thinking about a situation/event.

    Hence, it can help to stop thinking of the things you have to do as a working mother and instead reframe these thoughts as things you get to do. For example, if you say you “have to” leave work early to feed your child, it’s framed negatively, whereas if you say you “get to” go home early to feed your child, the same situation is automatically perceived with more gratitude. This technique of reframing may take time, but experimenting with this can help you observe whether it is helpful or not.  

      Reconnecting and building relationships with colleagues

      For some, the role of being a new mother can be quite isolating, as juggling responsibilities (that may still be quite new to you) can drain your energy and free time, making it difficult to attend social events (at work or otherwise). But it could be worth the effort to start rebuilding relationships with your colleagues at this time. For example, having lunch or coffee with a colleague, going for walks, or taking breaks to connect with colleagues at work even for a few minutes a day.  

        More than just filling time or checking the “social” box, these relationships can be important sources of professional support. When you are friendly with colleagues, they are more likely to help you when you are unavailable or are facing an emergency, support with delegation of your tasks where required, and they are also more likely to include you on important projects that can advance your career and give you visibility for your efforts. Trying to work towards this can ease the tension of transitioning back to work after maternity leave and can help you make space for more in your life while also being a great parent!  

          Set realistic goals

          Establish realistic and achievable goals both at home and work. For example, ideally you may want to take care of household chores and taking care of your child every single day, but a kinder and more realistic expectation would be to do this a few days a week while getting additional support to manage other days. Managing your expectations and being kind to yourself is extremely important. After all, you are human and after a significant time away from professional life, it would not be fair to expect yourself to function at 100% capacity or efficiency.  Manage expectations and be kind to yourself as you transition back into your professional role. 

          Setting Clear Boundaries

          It is inevitable for you to sometimes feel torn between demands and expectations at home and at work, but it is important to remember that we can’t do it all. Setting boundaries with your partner, colleagues and your managers would be helpful to work towards.

          To do this, first reflect on what matters most to you. For example, you would prefer to not work on weekends but can be available for a few hours in the evening after your child is asleep, or discussing a routine with your partner where you are clearly identifying which days you would require your partner’s support and in what specific ways.

          Once you identify these boundaries, it is important to communicate these boundaries directly. It could be awkward to have a conversation like this sometimes, but these awkward conversations actually prevent further stress, frustration and burnout. Communicating also ensures that while people may not consistently respect your boundaries, at least they would not be blindsided when you are sharing/reminding them about what your boundaries are.  

          Celebrate Achievements and continue to prioritize self-care

          Prioritizing your self-care and emotional well-being by taking care of yourself is important to renew your energy and motivation levels to continue managing the demands of both work and motherhood. It is also important to recognize if you tend to constantly strive for more without appreciating how far you have come. If so, try to consciously start appreciating even the smallest wins at this time when you are resuming work post maternity leave.

          Acknowledging progress triggers the brain’s reward circuit and motivates people to keep working towards their goals. Some ways to do this include keeping a daily work journal where you write down a few of your accomplishments or “wins” from the day (like connecting with a colleague for coffee, being able to ask for help when you needed it, or simply getting through the day itself!) Especially on difficult days, looking back at written entries from the past few days/weeks can bring you comfort and reassurance, and remind you of your resilience during this transformative period.  

          The dos and donts of going back to work after maternity leave: 

          Do’s: 

          • Do communicate openly with your employer about your needs and expectations. 
          • Do seek support from your colleagues and family. 
          • Do prioritize self-care and well-being. 
          • Do establish a flexible routine that suits both work and family commitments. 

          Don’ts: 

          • Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect. 
          • Don’t hesitate to ask for help or delegate tasks. 
          • Don’t neglect your own needs and self-care. 
          • Don’t compare yourself to others; everyone’s journey is unique. 

          Conclusion

          Returning to work after maternity leave is undoubtedly a significant life transition, but with thoughtful planning and self-care, it can be a rewarding experience. By staying well-prepared, managing emotions, and implementing practical tips, you can successfully navigate this important phase and find a balance between your professional and personal life, all while celebrating how wonderfully unique, determined and resilient you are! 

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          7 Must Try Ways To Build Resilience In Children

          by Parenting

          Did you know that building resilience in children can significantly shape their ability to face life’s challenges? 

          According to the American Psychological Association, resilience in children is a crucial trait that empowers them to adapt and bounce back from adversity. 

          In this article, we will delve into the various strategies you can employ to nurture resilience in children and equip them with the tools they need to thrive.

          What Is Resilience?

          building resilience in children

          Image Source: Pixabay

          Resilience has been defined as the ability to bounce back from stress, challenge, tragedy, trauma or adversity. 

          It can be seen in the way children learn to think and act with efficient problem solving skills, determination and courage when they are in emotionally challenging situations.

          As parents, our role is to instill skills of resilience in our little ones to help them deal with different circumstances such as adjustment to change in the classroom, new city, separation or death of loved ones, bullying, abuse, rejection by peer group and/or siblings, community violence and natural disasters.

          Importance of Building Resilience in Childhood:

          Developing resilience in kids lays the foundation for their lifelong emotional well-being. 

          Research by Child Trends highlights that children who possess strong resilience skills tend to have better mental health outcomes and improved academic performance. 

          By helping children learn to be resilient, we equip them with a valuable skillset that can positively impact their overall quality of life.

          7 Ways to Build Resilience in Children:

          Realistically, it may not be possible for us to be with our children each time they face a difficult situation. 

          Not being equipped to handle such circumstances can make our children feel vulnerable, fearful, anxious, helpless, sad and lonely. Here are a few ways in which you can help your children build resilience:

          Ensure social support: 

          Our first responsibility is to help our children build supportive relationships with parents, teachers, relatives, siblings and friends. 

          They do best when they feel loved, accepted, understood and secure. Through positive daily interactions, children learn to be giving, kind and supportive of others when they are faced with difficulties.

          Encourage them to ask for help:

          Children will often have the idea that being brave is about dealing with things by themselves. Let them know that being brave and strong means knowing when to ask for help

          Recommended Read: 7 Ways To Make Time For Yourselves While Parenting

          Facilitate thinking: 

          promoting thinking in children helps with building resilience in children

          Image Source: Pexels

          The way we react to things has a lot to do with the way we think about the situation. 

          Thinking skills play a big part in our ability to regulate our emotions and behaviour, so it is important to give children opportunities to think and act independently. 

          Allowing them to make their own decisions will also help them develop a sense of mastery, be less reactive to stress, and more able to handle future challenges.

          Model resilience:

          When children see that their parents also face challenges at times but still make efforts to overcome the stress, that not only normalises difficult experiences for them but also gives them the opportunity to learn how to respond to similar situations in their lives.

          Recommended Read: 10 Ways To Ensure Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being

          Develop a positive outlook:

          Let the child know that change is a part of life and help them understand the positive aspects of difficult situations (for example, treating it as a learning opportunity). 

          This is an important part of self-regulation as it helps us to feel better about things and builds hope.

          Build the child’s self esteem: 

          Confidence in one’s abilities and an “I can do it” attitude motivates one to keep trying even when things are difficult. It is then that our efforts are more likely to pay off. 

          Give the child responsibilities for small things and avoid comparing them to other children. 

          This helps them believe that they are capable enough to handle things, and treat failures or setbacks as a part of learning.

          Recommended Read: Are you a Helicopter Parent?

          Encourage problem solving in creative ways: 

          problem solving in children

          Encourage your child to think about “how” he/she can possibly solve situations. In schools, this can be done through group discussions where children come up with alternative solutions.

          Writing essays such as “When you helped someone”, or “When somebody else helped you”, or “When you managed to get through a difficult situation”, helps reinforce the learning.

          Resilience-Building Activities for Kids:

          Engage children in activities that promote problem-solving and emotional expression. Art, storytelling, and outdoor adventures can help them build resilience while having fun.

          Conclusion:

          Building resilience in children is a gift that keeps on giving. By helping them develop the ability to bounce back from setbacks, we empower them to face the complexities of life with courage and strength. 

          As parents and caregivers, we have the opportunity to shape their futures by fostering resilience and helping them grow into emotionally resilient individuals who are ready to tackle whatever comes their way.

          References:

          • https://www.apa.org/topics/resilience/guide-parents-teachers
          • https://developingchild.harvard.edu/science/key-concepts/resilience/
          • https://positivepsychology.com/resilience-in-children/
          • https://member.1to1help.net/articles/Strategies-to-Build-Resilience-Before-Facing-Trauma/NzUx
          • https://member.1to1help.net/articles/What-is-Resilience/NzU0
          • https://member.1to1help.net/articles/5-Ways-to-Improve-Your-Resilience/NzUz
          Indian Family in the park

          7 Ways To Make Time For Yourselves While Parenting

          by Parenting

          Parenthood is a beautiful journey filled with love and growth, yet you find the need of self care while parenting as it can also be demanding and all-encompassing. 

          According to a study published in the “Journal of Family Psychology,” carving out personal time for self-care while parenting can lead to improved well-being and overall family satisfaction. 

          In this insightful guide, we will explore seven effective strategies to help parents find moments of respite and prioritize self-care amidst the joys and responsibilities of raising children. Discover how you can strike a balance between nurturing your own well-being and providing the best for your family.

          Is It Normal To Feel Guilty Of Taking “Me-Time” While Parenting?

          A parent once shared her experience of staying apart from her 4-year-old for the first time when she had to attend a two-day long conference in another town for work. 

          She definitely missed her child, but she also realised how much she was enjoying this time for herself. 

          Getting sound sleep, being able to read or take long showers, interacting with other professionals, being in a different environment- all of it made her feel calm and fresh. 

          This made her feel slightly guilty because she felt that she was supposed to not enjoy this time to herself and maybe she is a bad parent for doing this.. 

          Parents tend to also feel guilty and selfish when they choose to focus on their own needs. 

          There’s no denying that as parents, we will want to prioritize our children and it genuinely may be tough for us to devote a lot of time to self-care. 

          However, it is equally true that making some time for ourselves is absolutely necessary if we want to:

          • Reduce our stress and stay physically and mentally healthy
          • Enhance our focus and energy levels
          • Improve our interactions with our children
          • Model healthy behaviour for our children

          7 Ways To Make Time For Yourselves While Parenting:

          Take tiny breaks whenever you can

          It doesn’t matter if you can manage only 15 minutes or an hour, but ensure that you are spending some time by yourself in a day. 

          This could mean having a nice cup of tea in peace, taking a walk outside, reading, going for a quick run etc.

          Collaborative Co-Parenting:

          collaborative parenting

          Image Credits: Pexels

          Team up with your partner to create a support system. Alternate responsibilities, allowing each other time for personal pursuits. 

          This not only provides individual breaks but also strengthens your partnership as you work together to ensure everyone’s well-being.

          Recommended Read: 7 Must Try Ways To Build Resilience In Children 

          Make parenting tasks fun

          make parenting fun

          Make tasks fun or do self-care activities with your child if you feel that it won’t be possible at all to get time away just for yourself. 

          For example, when your child is reading or even colouring, sit down with them and read your own book or colour/paint. Or maybe while cooking or bathing the child, put on some nice music and dance to it/sing along.

          Recommended Read: 10 Ways To Ensure Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being

          Make conscious choices about how to spend your free time

          If your child is napping or playing with friends, don’t always use that time only to finish chores.

          That might be your only chance to either rest or pursue a hobby or do something fun for yourself. 

          Try to also minimize activities that involve screen time. Using social media or watching videos may not necessarily help you feel refreshed and other offline options could be more effective choices.

          Schedule some time alone with your partner

          schedule some time for your partner

          Image Credits: Pixabay

          As the parenting role takes more importance, couples often don’t get to spend enough time together away from the child. 

          Ensure that you consciously find time for this at least once a week. Do something fun/relaxing and avoid discussing parenting related or other responsibilities during this time. This is the time for you to reconnect as a couple!

          Recommended Read: Are you a Helicopter Parent?

          Practice mindfulness and self-compassion

          mindfulness and compassion

          Image Credits: Pexels

          Spending even 2-5 minutes practising mindful breathing can help you find some calm amidst all the chaos. Move to a quiet corner, take in deep breaths, and focus only on your breathing for the time being. 

          Tell yourself that you are doing the best you can; we often are too harsh on ourselves and that further adds to the pressure and distress we feel. 

          You are already doing a lot and you need to pat yourself on the back each time you finish a chore, care for yourself, care for someone else!

          Ask for help

          None of us can do it all and it’s okay to get help and support from friends and family members when we need it. 

          Leave the child in the care of the other parent/other family members/a friend or neighbour who also has children, so that you get some breathing space for yourself. 

          Conclusion:

          Parenthood and self-care need not be mutually exclusive. By implementing these seven strategies, you can prioritize your well-being and create a harmonious balance between parenting and self-care. 

          Remember, finding personal time while parenting is not only beneficial for you but also sets a positive example for your children, teaching them the importance of nurturing their own well-being.

          References:

          If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.

          Happy cute Indian kid girl talking to mother, using hands, fingers, speaking sign languages, sitting on sofa at home. Female teacher, therapist teaching child with deafness to communicate

          Children’s Emotional Wellbeing: 10 Practical Tips for Parents

          by Parenting

          When a person grows up listening to negative thoughts about the self from an early age, then this can have quite an impact on the person. If these issues are not addressed early on, then this constant negative self-talk gets reinforced and can lead to poor emotional wellbeing and struggles later into adulthood.
           
          Children who are able to understand and manage their emotions have the ability to view things with a positive perspective. This gives them the space to grow cognitively, creatively, and socially. During all of this, the support you provide as a parent is of utmost importance. Looking after their emotional needs is just as important as their cognitive development. Here are some practical tips to support your child emotionally:   
           
          1.     Pay attention: children can show they’re struggling in several different ways. They may act out and constantly get into trouble or withdraw into their own bubble. This could signal a bigger issue that needs to be tackled. If you’re aware of what’s going on, you’re in a better position to provide emotional support for your child.
           
          2.     Encourage expression: teach your child how to recognise why they’re feeling certain emotions and how to express those feelings. They may express themselves in the form of a story, drawing, or a diary entry. Be patient and hear them out as this helps them gain self-awareness.
           
          3.     Put yourself in their shoes: listen to your child and their viewpoints, validate their feelings. This helps them to process the situation better and even allows them to accept a different perspective as they feel understood and accepted.
           
          4.     It’s okay to not feel okay: it’s important to let your child know that everyone struggles from time to time, it’s a normal part of life. 
           
          5.     Allow them time to self-reflect: make it a habit where they spend some time thinking through past situations: their actions, behaviours and how to handle similar situations in the future. This can help them understand why they feel a certain way and how to cope with it.
           
          6.     Be supportive: be available for your child so they understand that you’re always there for them if they need you. Understanding and respecting their feelings strengthens their emotional development. This gives them more space to focus on building their skills, creativity and learning.
           
          7.     Boost their self-esteem: rather than focusing on times when your child struggles and unintentionally causing them to feel inadequate, emphasise their good qualities and skills they’ve developed. This reinforces their self-worth reducing negative thinking about themselves.
           
          8.     Resilience: children find it difficult to cope when things don’t go their way. This can result in feelings that are hard for them to deal with. In these situations, it’s helpful to reassure them, validate their feelings and let them know that they’re capable of bouncing back, no matter what situation is thrown at them.  
           
          9.     Help build relationships: good relationships, whether with family or friends, acts as solid ground for your child to stand on as they’re exploring and learning about the world around them. Our relationships with those around us affect the way we feel, and hence it’s important that children learn how to build relationships and solidify those connections.
           
          10.  Learning by example: if you’re the type of person that’s closed off and embarrassed or uncomfortable of expressing your feelings, your child is likely to mimic this behaviour. Showing your children that you’re able to express your emotions and cope with them in a positive way will let them know that when faced with adversity, they too can do the same.   


          A little bit of love and care, and empathy and support every single day goes a long way to strengthen the beautiful bond you share with your child. 

          If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.

          https://member.1to1help.net/articles/5-Ways-to-Ensure-That-Your-Child-is-not-Overscheduled/Nzgy

          https://member.1to1help.net/articles/Depression-In-Children:-Identifying-Signs-/ODYy

          https://member.1to1help.net/articles/6-Ways-to-Improve-your-Sleep-and-in-turn,-your-Emotional-Wellbeing/OTgz

          https://extension.psu.edu/programs/betterkidcare/early-care/tip-pages/all/emotional-wellness-understanding-its-importance

          https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/mental-health/article/promoting-childrens-social-emotional-well-being



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