Indian Family in the park

7 Ways To Make Time For Yourselves While Parenting

by Parenting

Parenthood is a beautiful journey filled with love and growth, yet you find the need of self care while parenting as it can also be demanding and all-encompassing. 

According to a study published in the “Journal of Family Psychology,” carving out personal time for self-care while parenting can lead to improved well-being and overall family satisfaction. 

In this insightful guide, we will explore seven effective strategies to help parents find moments of respite and prioritize self-care amidst the joys and responsibilities of raising children. Discover how you can strike a balance between nurturing your own well-being and providing the best for your family.

Is It Normal To Feel Guilty Of Taking “Me-Time” While Parenting?

A parent once shared her experience of staying apart from her 4-year-old for the first time when she had to attend a two-day long conference in another town for work. 

She definitely missed her child, but she also realised how much she was enjoying this time for herself. 

Getting sound sleep, being able to read or take long showers, interacting with other professionals, being in a different environment- all of it made her feel calm and fresh. 

This made her feel slightly guilty because she felt that she was supposed to not enjoy this time to herself and maybe she is a bad parent for doing this.. 

Parents tend to also feel guilty and selfish when they choose to focus on their own needs. 

There’s no denying that as parents, we will want to prioritize our children and it genuinely may be tough for us to devote a lot of time to self-care. 

However, it is equally true that making some time for ourselves is absolutely necessary if we want to:

  • Reduce our stress and stay physically and mentally healthy
  • Enhance our focus and energy levels
  • Improve our interactions with our children
  • Model healthy behaviour for our children

7 Ways To Make Time For Yourselves While Parenting:

Take tiny breaks whenever you can

It doesn’t matter if you can manage only 15 minutes or an hour, but ensure that you are spending some time by yourself in a day. 

This could mean having a nice cup of tea in peace, taking a walk outside, reading, going for a quick run etc.

Collaborative Co-Parenting:

collaborative parenting

Image Credits: Pexels

Team up with your partner to create a support system. Alternate responsibilities, allowing each other time for personal pursuits. 

This not only provides individual breaks but also strengthens your partnership as you work together to ensure everyone’s well-being.

Recommended Read: 7 Must Try Ways To Build Resilience In Children 

Make parenting tasks fun

make parenting fun

Make tasks fun or do self-care activities with your child if you feel that it won’t be possible at all to get time away just for yourself. 

For example, when your child is reading or even colouring, sit down with them and read your own book or colour/paint. Or maybe while cooking or bathing the child, put on some nice music and dance to it/sing along.

Recommended Read: 10 Ways To Ensure Your Child’s Emotional Well-Being

Make conscious choices about how to spend your free time

If your child is napping or playing with friends, don’t always use that time only to finish chores.

That might be your only chance to either rest or pursue a hobby or do something fun for yourself. 

Try to also minimize activities that involve screen time. Using social media or watching videos may not necessarily help you feel refreshed and other offline options could be more effective choices.

Schedule some time alone with your partner

schedule some time for your partner

Image Credits: Pixabay

As the parenting role takes more importance, couples often don’t get to spend enough time together away from the child. 

Ensure that you consciously find time for this at least once a week. Do something fun/relaxing and avoid discussing parenting related or other responsibilities during this time. This is the time for you to reconnect as a couple!

Recommended Read: Are you a Helicopter Parent?

Practice mindfulness and self-compassion

mindfulness and compassion

Image Credits: Pexels

Spending even 2-5 minutes practising mindful breathing can help you find some calm amidst all the chaos. Move to a quiet corner, take in deep breaths, and focus only on your breathing for the time being. 

Tell yourself that you are doing the best you can; we often are too harsh on ourselves and that further adds to the pressure and distress we feel. 

You are already doing a lot and you need to pat yourself on the back each time you finish a chore, care for yourself, care for someone else!

Ask for help

None of us can do it all and it’s okay to get help and support from friends and family members when we need it. 

Leave the child in the care of the other parent/other family members/a friend or neighbour who also has children, so that you get some breathing space for yourself. 

Conclusion:

Parenthood and self-care need not be mutually exclusive. By implementing these seven strategies, you can prioritize your well-being and create a harmonious balance between parenting and self-care. 

Remember, finding personal time while parenting is not only beneficial for you but also sets a positive example for your children, teaching them the importance of nurturing their own well-being.

References:

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.

Happy cute Indian kid girl talking to mother, using hands, fingers, speaking sign languages, sitting on sofa at home. Female teacher, therapist teaching child with deafness to communicate

Children’s Emotional Wellbeing: 10 Practical Tips for Parents

by Parenting

When a person grows up listening to negative thoughts about the self from an early age, then this can have quite an impact on the person. If these issues are not addressed early on, then this constant negative self-talk gets reinforced and can lead to poor emotional wellbeing and struggles later into adulthood.
 
Children who are able to understand and manage their emotions have the ability to view things with a positive perspective. This gives them the space to grow cognitively, creatively, and socially. During all of this, the support you provide as a parent is of utmost importance. Looking after their emotional needs is just as important as their cognitive development. Here are some practical tips to support your child emotionally:   
 
1.     Pay attention: children can show they’re struggling in several different ways. They may act out and constantly get into trouble or withdraw into their own bubble. This could signal a bigger issue that needs to be tackled. If you’re aware of what’s going on, you’re in a better position to provide emotional support for your child.
 
2.     Encourage expression: teach your child how to recognise why they’re feeling certain emotions and how to express those feelings. They may express themselves in the form of a story, drawing, or a diary entry. Be patient and hear them out as this helps them gain self-awareness.
 
3.     Put yourself in their shoes: listen to your child and their viewpoints, validate their feelings. This helps them to process the situation better and even allows them to accept a different perspective as they feel understood and accepted.
 
4.     It’s okay to not feel okay: it’s important to let your child know that everyone struggles from time to time, it’s a normal part of life. 
 
5.     Allow them time to self-reflect: make it a habit where they spend some time thinking through past situations: their actions, behaviours and how to handle similar situations in the future. This can help them understand why they feel a certain way and how to cope with it.
 
6.     Be supportive: be available for your child so they understand that you’re always there for them if they need you. Understanding and respecting their feelings strengthens their emotional development. This gives them more space to focus on building their skills, creativity and learning.
 
7.     Boost their self-esteem: rather than focusing on times when your child struggles and unintentionally causing them to feel inadequate, emphasise their good qualities and skills they’ve developed. This reinforces their self-worth reducing negative thinking about themselves.
 
8.     Resilience: children find it difficult to cope when things don’t go their way. This can result in feelings that are hard for them to deal with. In these situations, it’s helpful to reassure them, validate their feelings and let them know that they’re capable of bouncing back, no matter what situation is thrown at them.  
 
9.     Help build relationships: good relationships, whether with family or friends, acts as solid ground for your child to stand on as they’re exploring and learning about the world around them. Our relationships with those around us affect the way we feel, and hence it’s important that children learn how to build relationships and solidify those connections.
 
10.  Learning by example: if you’re the type of person that’s closed off and embarrassed or uncomfortable of expressing your feelings, your child is likely to mimic this behaviour. Showing your children that you’re able to express your emotions and cope with them in a positive way will let them know that when faced with adversity, they too can do the same.   


A little bit of love and care, and empathy and support every single day goes a long way to strengthen the beautiful bond you share with your child. 

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.

https://member.1to1help.net/articles/5-Ways-to-Ensure-That-Your-Child-is-not-Overscheduled/Nzgy

https://member.1to1help.net/articles/Depression-In-Children:-Identifying-Signs-/ODYy

https://member.1to1help.net/articles/6-Ways-to-Improve-your-Sleep-and-in-turn,-your-Emotional-Wellbeing/OTgz

https://extension.psu.edu/programs/betterkidcare/early-care/tip-pages/all/emotional-wellness-understanding-its-importance

https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/mental-health/article/promoting-childrens-social-emotional-well-being



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    Helicopter Parenting

    Are you a Helicopter Parent?

    by Parenting
    Helicopter Parenting
    Image Source: Freepik

    In today’s fast-paced and competitive world, it’s no surprise that parents want the best for their children. However, this desire for success and protection has led to the rise of helicopter parenting. Helicopter parents are those who hover over their children, constantly monitoring and controlling their every move. While the intention behind helicopter parenting may be well meant, it can have detrimental effects on both the parent-child relationship and the child’s development.

    What is a helicopter parent?

    A helicopter parent is someone who is excessively involved in their child’s life, often to the point of micromanagement. These parents have a strong desire to protect their children from any potential harm or failure. They are constantly monitoring their child’s activities, making decisions on their behalf, and intervening in their interactions with others. Helicopter parents tend to be highly controlling and overly involved in every aspect of their child’s life, from academics to extracurricular activities.

    Examples of helicopter parenting

    Helicopter parenting can manifest in various ways. For example, helicopter parents might constantly check their child’s grades and assignments, ensuring that they are always performing at the top of their class. They may also dictate their child’s social interactions, carefully selecting their friends and monitoring their activities. In extreme cases, helicopter parents might even go so far as to intervene in their child’s conflicts or disagreements, preventing them from learning how to resolve conflicts on their own.

    Understanding the causes of helicopter parenting

    1. The causes of helicopter parenting can vary, but they
      Often stem from a combination of fear, anxiety, and societal pressure.
    2. Parents may fear that their children will fall behind academically or miss out on opportunities if they are not constantly monitored. There is also a societal pressure to raise successful children, which can contribute to a parent’s desire to control every aspect of their child’s life.
    3. Additionally, some parents may have experienced trauma or negative experiences in their own childhood, leading them to be hyper-vigilant in protecting their own children.

    The Effects of helicopter parenting on Children

    While helicopter parenting may seem like a way to ensure a child’s success, it can actually have negative effects on their development.

    1. Children who grow up with helicopter parents often struggle with independence and decision-making skills.
    2. They may become overly reliant on their parents for guidance and have difficulty taking initiative.
    3. Additionally, helicopter parenting can hinder a child’s ability to develop resilience and problem-solving skills, as they are never given the opportunity to face challenges on their own.

    Shifting from helicopter parenting to empowerment

    It is possible for helicopter parents to shift their parenting style from one of control to one of empowerment. This involves letting go of the need to constantly monitor and intervene in their child’s life and instead focusing on fostering independence and resilience. By taking steps to empower their children, parents can help them develop the skills they need to navigate the world on their own.

    How to avoid helicopter parenting

    To avoid falling into the trap of helicopter parenting, it is important for parents to set boundaries and allow their children to make their own decisions. This means resisting the urge to constantly step in and solve problems for them. Instead, parents can offer guidance and support, while still allowing their children to learn from their own mistakes. It is also essential for parents to trust their children and believe in their ability to handle challenges. By giving children the space to grow and learn, parents can help them develop into confident and independent individuals.

    Empowering children through independence and resilience

    One of the most effective ways to empower children is by encouraging independence and resilience. This can be done by gradually giving children more responsibility and allowing them to make their own choices. For example, parents can involve their children in decision-making processes, such as choosing extracurricular activities or planning family vacations. By giving children the opportunity to make choices and learn from their mistakes, parents can help them develop a sense of autonomy and self-confidence.

    Cultivating a supportive and trusting parenting style

    In addition to fostering independence, it is important for parents to cultivate a supportive and trusting parenting style. This involves creating a safe and nurturing environment where children feel comfortable expressing themselves and sharing their thoughts and feelings. It also means being available and responsive to their needs, while still maintaining appropriate boundaries. By building a strong relationship based on trust and support, parents can help their children develop a sense of security and self-worth.

    In conclusion, while it is natural for parents to want to protect and support their children, it is important to find a balance between being involved and empowering them. Helicopter parenting may stem from good intentions, but it can hinder a child’s development and independence. By shifting from helicopter parenting to empowerment, parents can help their children develop the skills they need to succeed in life. By fostering independence, resilience, and trust, parents can create an environment where their children can thrive and become confident individuals capable of embracing challenges and pursuing their own dreams.

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