self esteem Archives - 1to1help

When a person grows up listening to negative thoughts about the self from an early age, then this can have quite an impact on the person. If these issues are not addressed early on, then this constant negative self-talk gets reinforced and can lead to poor emotional wellbeing and struggles later into adulthood.

Children who are able to understand and manage their emotions have the ability to view things with a positive perspective. This gives them the space to grow cognitively, creatively, and socially. During all of this, the support you provide as a parent is of utmost importance. Looking after their emotional needs is just as important as their cognitive development. Here are some practical tips to support your child emotionally:

1.     Pay attention: children can show they’re struggling in several different ways. They may act out and constantly get into trouble or withdraw into their own bubble. This could signal a bigger issue that needs to be tackled. If you’re aware of what’s going on, you’re in a better position to provide emotional support for your child.

2.    Encourage expression: teach your child how to recognise why they’re feeling certain emotions and how to express those feelings. They may express themselves in the form of a story, drawing, or a diary entry. Be patient and hear them out as this helps them gain self-awareness.

3.    Put yourself in their shoes: listen to your child and their viewpoints, validate their feelings. This helps them to process the situation better and even allows them to accept a different perspective as they feel understood and accepted.

4.     It’s okay to not feel okay: it’s important to let your child know that everyone struggles from time to time, it’s a normal part of life.

5.    Allow them time to self-reflect: make it a habit where they spend some time thinking through past situations: their actions, behaviours and how to handle similar situations in the future. This can help them understand why they feel a certain way and how to cope with it.

6.    Be supportive: be available for your child so they understand that you’re always there for them if they need you. Understanding and respecting their feelings strengthens their emotional development. This gives them more space to focus on building their skills, creativity and learning.

7.    Boost their self-esteem: rather than focusing on times when your child struggles and unintentionally causing them to feel inadequate, emphasise their good qualities and skills they’ve developed. This reinforces their self-worth reducing negative thinking about themselves.

8.    Resilience: children find it difficult to cope when things don’t go their way. This can result in feelings that are hard for them to deal with. In these situations, it’s helpful to reassure them, validate their feelings and let them know that they’re capable of bouncing back, no matter what situation is thrown at them.

9.    Help build relationships: good relationships, whether with family or friends, acts as solid ground for your child to stand on as they’re exploring and learning about the world around them. Our relationships with those around us affect the way we feel, and hence it’s important that children learn how to build relationships and solidify those connections.

10.  Learning by example: if you’re the type of person that’s closed off and embarrassed or uncomfortable of expressing your feelings, your child is likely to mimic this behaviour. Showing your children that you’re able to express your emotions and cope with them in a positive way will let them know that when faced with adversity, they too can do the same.

A little bit of love and care, and empathy and support every single day goes a long way to strengthen the beautiful bond you share with your child.

If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.

https://member.1to1help.net/articles/5-Ways-to-Ensure-That-Your-Child-is-not-Overscheduled/Nzgy

https://member.1to1help.net/articles/Depression-In-Children:-Identifying-Signs-/ODYy

https://member.1to1help.net/articles/6-Ways-to-Improve-your-Sleep-and-in-turn,-your-Emotional-Wellbeing/OTgz

https://extension.psu.edu/programs/betterkidcare/early-care/tip-pages/all/emotional-wellness-understanding-its-importance

https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/mental-health/article/promoting-childrens-social-emotional-well-being

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Self confidence is shaped by various factors, including our upbringing, past experiences, and the beliefs we hold about ourselves. Negative experiences or criticism can often leave a lasting impact on our self-esteem, making it harder to develop self-confidence.

The first step to building self confidence in a tough environment would be to think about the things that are really important to you and the things you want to achieve in life. Set yourself goals related to this. It is important to start with small achievable goals, and as you succeed in these, you will feel more confident and be willing to take on something a little more difficult. You can begin by focusing on the basics.

For example: if you are shy and making friends at work is something that you would like to work on then starting small, in this case, would imply; smiling at a fellow colleague, nodding as in acknowledging his/her presence, going upto your colleague or if you pass him/her on your way then a “How are you” or “How is work coming along”, can imply that you care, and you will be responded to by similar action.

Or if you want to be able to take on a new task or project that seems very difficult, try to think of the steps that would lead you to be able to achieve this. Is there some small aspect that you can take on, consult someone else and then attempt to do it? If it works well, you will be able to take on something a little more complex and get the satisfaction that you can do it by yourself. Eventually, building self confidence means doing the things you fear.

Important things to note:

Try to start with smaller goals and get into a habit of celebrating them when achieved.
It is important to pick up and dispute negative self-talk as it can have a negative impact on our self-confidence if not taken care of. For example: “Others always laugh when I make a presentation, so I might as well not take any initiate”. It could be that they were probably sharing a joke, or that they got distracted or maybe even knew what you were talking about, hence didn’t find it important to listen. It’s crucial to avoid personalizing every reaction and instead focus on our own growth and improvement. By maintaining a balanced perspective and not assuming the worst, we can protect our self-confidence and keep moving forward with a positive mindset.
It is also helpful if you are able to remind yourself of your strengths & achievements. One way is to make a list of things you like about yourself. Read it over and over again, and you could possibly feel that zest and energy of “I have these abilities and I am going to make good use of them, today!!”

You do not have to wait to feel confident before you act. Although many factors affecting self confidence are at times out of our control, there are a number of things that you can consciously do, to build your self-confidence that you need to reach your potential.

Tips to Build Self Confidence

Prepare:

Preparing and practising thoroughly will help you know all your facts; you can then work towards anticipating possible questions, and even prepare for those answers. For example: if you have to do a presentation at work; rehearsing and rewriting what you want to say over and over so that you can pretty much learn it by heart, will help you remember those crucial facts.

You can also look towards asking for support from your family, spouse, your friends and others who are close to you; to tell you what they like about you or think you do well and where you may need to improve.

Take care of the physical appearance:

The way we dress can have an impact on the way we feel about ourselves. Taking care of your personal appearance can also have an impact on how confident you come across to others. Small changes like a different hairstyle or wearing well-fitting clothes could make a difference.

If you need to lose/gain weight, improve your skin or anything else, it might be worthwhile to see a doctor or other specialist who can help you do this. Appearance may not be everything but when you feel that you look good, this tends to have a positive impact on the way you perceive yourself.

Good posture:

Similarly, practising good posture by standing straight, keeping your head up and making eye contact, can help towards making a positive impression on others. A firm handshake and a smiling face can also take you a long way.

Practice Self-Compassion:

Self-compassion is the foundation of self confidence. Be kind to yourself and treat yourself with the same compassion you would show a loved one. Acknowledge your mistakes and failures as opportunities for growth, rather than dwelling on them.

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone:

Stepping out of your comfort zone is essential for personal growth and building self confidence. Start by taking small risks and gradually work your way up to bigger challenges. Each step outside your comfort zone will expand your self-belief.

Celebrate Your Successes:

Acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem. Take time to reflect on your achievements and the progress you have made on your self-confidence journey. Celebrating your successes will reinforce positive self-beliefs and motivate you to keep pushing forward.

Set achievable goals:

Break down big goals into smaller, more manageable tasks. Each small success will boost your confidence and motivate you to keep going.

Surround yourself with positive influences:

Seek support from friends, family, or mentors who believe in you and encourage your growth. their positivity may go a long way in helping you overcome self-doubt.

Practice Self-Care:

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is crucial for maintaining self-confidence. Prioritize activities that rejuvenate you, such as exercising, practising mindfulness, or engaging in hobbies you enjoy. Self-care will help you stay grounded and resilient.

Embrace Failure as a Learning Opportunity:

Failure is a natural part of life, and it does not define your worth or abilities. Embrace failure as a learning opportunity and use it to grow stronger. Reflect on what you can learn from the experience and how you can improve in the future. Remember, even the most successful individuals have faced knocks along their journey.

Building Self Confidence in Specific Areas of Life

Self-confidence is not a one-size-fits-all concept. It can vary across different areas of life, such as career, relationships, or personal development. Here are some tips for building self confidence in specific areas:

Career

Identify your strengths and skills: Recognize your unique abilities and focus on developing them further. Knowing your strengths will boost your confidence in the workplace.
Seek opportunities for growth: Take on new projects or responsibilities that challenge you and allow you to showcase your abilities. Stepping up and embracing challenges will enhance your self-confidence in your professional life.

Relationships

Practice effective communication: Clear and assertive communication is essential for building healthy relationships. Express your thoughts and feelings openly, while also actively listening to others. Effective communication will strengthen your self-confidence in interpersonal interactions.
Set boundaries: Establishing boundaries is important for maintaining healthy relationships. Respect your own needs and communicate your boundaries to others. Respecting your boundaries will enhance your self-confidence in relationships.

Self Confidence Exercises and Activities

Building self-confidence can be supported by various exercises and activities that promote self-reflection and personal growth. Here are some examples:

Positive Affirmations

Start each day by affirming positive statements about yourself. Repeat phrases such as “I am confident,” “I am worthy,” or “I believe in myself.” Over time, these positive affirmations will shape your self-perception and boost your self-confidence.

Visualization

Visualize yourself succeeding in a specific area where you want to build self confidence. Imagine the scenario in detail, including how confident and capable you feel. Visualization can help rewire your brain to believe in your abilities and increase your self-confidence.

Gratitude Journaling

Keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you are grateful for each day. Focusing on the positive aspects of your life will shift your mindset towards self confidence and self-appreciation.

Building self-confidence is a lifelong journey that requires self-reflection, self-compassion, and consistent effort. Remember, self confidence is not about being perfect; it’s about embracing who you are and trusting in your abilities.

1to1help is India’s leading Employee Assistance Program (EAP) service provider with a reputation for quality with integrity. We support organizations improve employee well-being, through a variety of programmes.

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