SELF HELP RESOURCE - Self Development / Emotions and Personality

24 Mar 2017, 18:56 PM
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The first thing she did when she woke up was check Facebook, Whatsapp and Snapchat as this is her usual routine. She saw a few notifications and was excited about the number of likes she got on the picture that she posted. She went to work in a good mood, spoke to people, all the while checking her phone to keep a tab on the number of likes and comments she was getting.

What if she woke up to no likes or comments, would she have felt so upbeat? What about you, how often do you keep count of the number of likes and comments? How much does it dictate the way you feel about yourself and the way you view your day?

Studies state that comparing ourselves on social media has become common. We have all heard about taking people's social media profiles with a pinch of salt. Each person carefully filters what goes up on their profile, putting up only that which looks good. Details that might be seen unfavourably (yet provide a more realistic picture), are edited or cropped out and only the best eventually goes up for everyone to see. Therefore, when we compare our lives with these carefully altered versions of reality, it is in fact an unfair comparison.

Research has shown that we tend to compare ourselves with groups that are often not in our league. For example, a seasoned 40 year old writer comparing his work to that of a 22 year old and feeling great about himself. Or the same 40 year old wishing he had the appearance and social life of the 22 year old. As comparing is inevitable, researchers have suggested that we try to bracket ourselves in groups that have a similar social status and position in life so that our comparisons are fairer.

According to Psychology Today, "to be self-confident is to trust in oneself, and in particular, in one's ability or aptitude to engage successfully or at least adequately with the world."

It would help to reflect on how dependent you are on social media for validation of yourself as a person. How much does your sense of self worth get affected by the way people review you online?

How often do you post your pictures? Why do you post them? Do you look out for likes and comments? How do you feel if there are no reactions?

If you feel like social media is getting in the way of your self-confidence, reflect on these points:

Understand your motives
What does it mean to you that a certain number of people have liked or appreciated a post that you shared?

Monitor usage
The more time we spend time checking such sites, the more time we take away from actually engaging with our surroundings and generating a sense of confidence through our own actions and abilities as opposed to through a post.

Look for other sources of self worth or validation
Are there activities or groups that you can meet in person, or try on your own that would generate the same sense of satisfaction?


These are already things that you may be aware of, but making the necessary life changes is usually where the challenge lies. If you would like to know more about this subject or want guidance and support for the same, please register on our website, 1to1help.net or contact a counsellor by calling in on 1800 270 1790.

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