Let there be spaces in your togetherness … Love one another, but make not a bond of love … Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone … And stand together yet not too near together; For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.’ – Khalil Gibran.
Re-energizing Your Relationship
Whether you’ve been seeing someone for a while, are living with a partner or have been married for a while, you may seek ways to improve your relationship but may not be able to do so actively. With multiple responsibilities and the fast pace of our lives, it’s understandable why your relationship might feature lower on your priority list. Nonetheless, relationships require ongoing care. Maintaining a relationship is not just about staying together with your partner, but it also involves actively working to keep the relationship evolving.
Doing routine tasks for your partners, like preparing a meal, choosing to buy groceries, helping with dishes, dropping them at work etc., are important and valuable. However, what’s also important is to be intentional about the effort, attention, and work that one puts into a relationship, i.e., using specific maintenance strategies. Research dedicated to studying the science of relationships indicates that one can apply several methods to improve a relationship that has reached a plateau stage.
Here are some signs that indicate the need to use maintenance strategies in a relationship:
- Differences in thinking about a situation have caused one or both partners to express dislike about the relationship.
- Particular topics are avoided by one or both partners in the hope to escape an argument.
- Positive interactions and experiences in the relationship have declined over time.
- Communication tends to be limited to fewer topics that are important and necessary.
- Partners primarily engage in hobbies, interests and ‘fun’ activities outside of the relationship.
If you can relate to any of these signs, you may try the following strategies in your relationship to make it stronger:
Giving Assurance
Feeling safe, secure, and sure about the future is a basic human need. When partners are given this safety, through verbal assurances of love and commitment, it can help them feel more fulfilled.
Tips you can try:
- Show verbal affection- Say “I love you” “I miss you”, use special nicknames, and convey how important your partner is to you.
- Discuss future events and the commitment you have to make them possible.
- Reassure your partner of the role you can take in the present and future.
- Do things actively that show your concern for your partner, for instance, volunteer to do a task for them or gift them a day at the spa after a long work week.
Conflict Management
Having disagreements and wanting to resolve them is natural. However, when a conflict is handled constructively, relationships benefit from healthy communication, transparency, and a reliable, stable environment that both partners can fall back on.
Tips you can try:
- In case of a conflict, first, ask yourself why you’re upset; what triggered your negative feelings at the moment.
- Discuss one issue at a time.
- Convey the reason for you being upset by saying, “I feel _____.”. For instance, “I feel neglected when you come back home late”, instead of, “You always do this. You are never home.”
- Take turns talking. Take time to listen to your partner when they’re talking, and not just wait to give a ‘good’ response to them.
- Take a break from discussing the issue if things get too heated.
- Attempt to reach a compromise.
- Avoid degrading language and yelling.
Practising Openness
Being able to express one’s opinion freely can help one avoid feeling frustrated and irritable in a relationship. Being open could also encourage one’s partner to be more expressive. This can create a space for both partners to be genuine and sincere with each other.
Tips you can try:
- Discuss the details of your day with each other.
- Talk about how you feel about the relationship.
- Disclose your fears and your needs to each other.
- Encourage each other to express your opinions.
- Discuss all the goals that both of you may have.
Prioritising Positive Moments
Each individual is likely to strive for situations and experiences that seem pleasurable. In other words, when something feels good, one would want to have a lot more of it. Hence, pleasant memories with one’s partner would reinforce the need to spend more time together.
Tips you can try
- Incorporate both your and your partner’s interests in your weekend plans. It will be something to look forward to.
- Find movies, TV shows and games that you both find interesting.
- Take some time out in the day to be with each other.
- While spending time with your partner, try not to get distracted by other tasks and responsibilities.
Having A Shared Circle of Friends
Having common friends can help a couple have more pleasant experiences together. Apart from enjoying one’s partner’s public persona, being able to fall back on a common support system can bring a couple closer.
Tips you can try:
- Experiment with different friends – try having meals and going to other events together.
- Plan outings that require more people – a class, a workshop, a picnic or a trek.
- Have a quiet evening at home with friends, where you’re able to relax and have a good conversation.
Sharing Tasks
Partners are likely to feel satisfied when they sense fairness in the relationship. When they feel like both their efforts and benefits are equal, they’re likely to feel more motivated.
Tips you can try
- Discuss roles and responsibilities and whether they are equitably distributed.
- Discuss ‘benefits’ and ‘efforts’ specific to both partners in the relationship, see if there are other expectations that aren’t being met.
- In case of days when either partner is ill or tired, try discussing backup plans for specific tasks.
Do remember that each relationship’s needs differ based on the life stage of that relationship. Therefore, depending on the stage you are in, you may use any of these strategies to build a thriving relationship with your partner.
If you would like to discuss this further or need some help or support in this or any other area, our counsellors would be happy to help.
https://member.1to1help.net/?to=articles/When-Travel-Keeps-You-Apart/MTQw
https://member.1to1help.net/articles/Energise-Your-Marriage/MTI0
https://member.1to1help.net/articles/A-Roadmap-to-Relationships/OTMx
https://psychcentral.com/health/how-to-maintain-love-in-healthy-relationships#Do-things-together
https://psychcentral.com/relationships/effective-ways-to-keep-your-partner-interested#laughter
Online Counselling
Place an online request for an Appointment
Call 1800-258-8999 / 1800-258-8121
Request a call back
Understand what 1to1help can do to enhance your workforce wellbeing
How to deal with a breakup? Expert Tips
Suddenly you find out that you are no longer a couple. All the things that you used to do, the places you used to go to, your social life, and even your plans for the future were associated with your former partner. Just getting back to daily life may seem almost impossible. So then, how does one deal with a breakup?
Understanding Your Feelings
Breakups can be incredibly difficult to navigate. Whether you were the one who initiated the split or you were blindsided by the news, it’s important to take the time to understand and process your feelings. This will allow you to heal and move forward in a healthy way.
When you have ‘lost’ a partner, you feel almost as if someone has died – you actually go through an experience that is very similar to bereavement. Feelings of intense anger alternate with longing for your former partner. There is also probably deep hurt and a feeling of betrayal, especially if there is another person on the scene. Some people even feel disgusted with themselves.
There is no ”right” way to feel. Your feelings, as unwelcome as they sometimes are, are part of yourself. They are something to accept and deal with.
Often people around you just don’t understand what you are experiencing. They may say things like “You’re much better off without him/her”, “After all there are other fish in the sea”, and “How long are you going to mope around?” Although they are trying to be helpful, you may be left feeling that no one understands what you are going through.
During a breakup, it’s normal to experience a wide range of emotions. You may feel sadness, anger, confusion, or even relief. It’s important to acknowledge and accept these emotions, rather than trying to suppress or ignore them. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up, and remember that it’s okay to grieve the loss of the relationship.
While those around you fail to grasp your experiences, it is natural to feel a sense of confusion. During such moments, several questions may arise in your mind.
How long will all this take?
There is no way of knowing how long a person will take to get over the intense feelings associated with breaking up. With some people it takes weeks, for others it may be months or even years. It depends on the length and nature of the relationship, the way the relationship ended and the kind of person you are. Be patient with yourself and try to learn the difference between giving yourself time for recuperation and reflection and becoming stuck in a pattern that doesn’t allow for growth.
Where do I go from here?
You may feel pressure from others or even from within yourself to get on with life and put the past behind you as soon as possible. However before you can completely close this chapter of your life you need to sort out your thoughts and feelings, acknowledge them and learn from them. By identifying what went wrong in the relationship, what your part in it was and how you’d like things to be different in the future, you can better ensure that you won’t find yourself in the same situation in future relationships.
Stages of a Breakup
Going through the stages of a breakup is a normal part of healing after a relationship ends. These stages include denial (not accepting the breakup), anger (feeling mad or upset), bargaining (trying to negotiate to get the relationship back), depression (feeling sad or down), and acceptance (coming to terms with the breakup and moving on). Everyone experiences these stages differently, and it’s okay to feel a mix of emotions. It takes time to heal, and it’s important to be patient with yourself as you go through these stages.
- In the denial stage, you may find yourself unable to accept that the relationship is truly over. You may cling to hope that things will work out, even if the evidence suggests otherwise. This stage can be characterized by feelings of shock, disbelief, and numbness.
- Anger is a common emotion in the aftermath of a breakup. You may feel betrayed, hurt, or resentful towards your ex-partner. It’s important to express your anger in healthy ways, such as through exercise or talking to a therapist. Holding onto anger can hinder your healing process.
- Bargaining is a stage where you may try to negotiate or make deals with your ex in an attempt to salvage the relationship. This can be a vulnerable and desperate time, but it’s important to remember that you cannot force someone to love you or stay with you. Accepting this reality is an essential step in moving forward.
- Depression is when you may feel deep sadness, loneliness, and a lack of motivation. It’s important to reach out for support during this stage, whether that be from friends, family, or a therapist. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help.
- Finally, acceptance is the stage where you begin to come to terms with the end of the relationship. You may still have moments of sadness or longing, but overall, you are able to move forward with your life. This stage is characterized by a sense of peace and a renewed focus on your own well-being.
How to Deal With a Breakup
How to deal with a breakup? Healing from a breakup is not a linear process. It involves ups and downs, good days and bad days. Be patient with yourself as you navigate through the fluctuations, understanding that it takes time to heal and everyone’s journey is unique. Allow yourself the space to grieve, heal, and grow at your own pace.
- One of the most important steps you can take is to focus on self-care. This means taking care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep, eating nutritious meals, and engaging in activities that bring you joy. Taking care of yourself will help you build resilience and cope with the emotions that arise.
- Another helpful step is to create a support system. Reach out to friends, family, or a therapist who can provide a listening ear and offer support. Surrounding yourself with people who care about you can help alleviate feelings of loneliness and provide a sense of belonging.
- In addition to self-care and support, it’s important to set boundaries with your ex. This may mean limiting contact or unfollowing them on social media. Seeing constant reminders of your past relationship can hinder your healing process. Give yourself the space you need to heal and move forward.
What Not to Do After a Breakup
In addition to knowing what steps to take, it’s also important to know what not to do during a breakup. These behaviours can hinder your healing process and prolong your pain.
- Firstly, avoid isolating yourself. While it’s natural to want some alone time, isolating yourself for long periods can lead to increased feelings of sadness and loneliness. Make an effort to reach out to loved ones and engage in social activities, even if it feels challenging.
- Secondly, avoid using unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as alcohol or drugs, to numb your pain. While these substances may provide temporary relief, they can ultimately hinder your healing process and lead to additional problems. Instead, seek healthy coping mechanisms such as exercise, meditation, or talking to a therapist.
- Lastly, avoid rushing into a new relationship. While it may be tempting to seek validation or distraction from the pain of the breakup, entering into a new relationship too soon can prevent you from fully healing and learning from your past experiences. Take the time you need to focus on yourself before pursuing a new romantic connection.
Focusing on Long-Term Recovery
While short-term steps are important, it’s also crucial to focus on long-term recovery. This means taking steps to heal and grow from the breakup, rather than getting stuck in a cycle of pain and resentment.
- One helpful strategy is to engage in activities that promote self-discovery and personal growth. This could include trying new hobbies, taking up a new sport, or pursuing a passion you’ve always had. Exploring new interests and expanding your horizons can help you build a sense of identity outside of the relationship.
- Additionally, it can be helpful to reflect on the lessons you’ve learned from the breakup. What patterns or behaviours contributed to the end of the relationship? What do you want to do differently in future relationships? Taking time to reflect and learn from your experiences can help prevent similar issues in the future.
- Forgiveness is a key component of long-term recovery. This doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning what happened, but rather, letting go of the anger and resentment that may be holding you back. Forgiveness is a process, and it may take time. Be gentle with yourself as you work towards forgiving both others and yourself for any perceived shortcomings or mistakes. Remember that everyone is human and deserves compassion, including yourself
Get help
You may feel like withdrawing from people altogether at this time but it really helps to share your feelings. Talk to a trusted friend or family member. It may also help to put your feelings in writing.
Counselling can help you get some perspective on this rapidly changing and confusing time. This can be especially helpful when you get the feeling that your friends are fed up with the subject of your break-up! The goal would be not just to get through this bad patch, but also to rebuild a new life.
Be patient with yourself
You can’t avoid the pain, but you will get over it – eventually. Meanwhile, treat yourself gently and give yourself time to recover. Spend time with people in whose company you feel comfortable. Eat well and exercise.
Gradually you will find that your negative feelings will start to fade and you will be able to start afresh.
Till then – hang in there!
1to1help is India’s leading Employee Assistance Program (EAP) service provider with a reputation for quality with integrity. We support organizations to improve employee well-being, through a variety of programmes. Visit 1to1help.net to learn more about how we can help you and your organization.
Formula for a Happy Marriage
Image Source: Freepik
“A great marriage is not when the perfect couple comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences” – Dave Meurer
The excitement of the wedding and the honeymoon is over; it is now time to get down to the nitty-gritty of married life. If you are equipped with the right tools at this stage to handle the expectations, disappointments and responsibilities of living with a person who you discover is not always the doting partner, then you are well on the road to making it last the long mile! In this article, we will discover the formula for a happy marriage.
Rules to Follow for a happy marriage
Those who have had a successful marriage seem to follow a few rules. Let’s see what they are:
Realistic expectations
Most of us enter matrimony with a rosy ‘happily ever after’ label which is amply fed by hoopla from media and movies. Unrealistic expectations are one of the major reasons for marriages to fail. We expect our partner to meet all our needs – from taking care of us, raising our children, helping us in our career and housework, being caring and considerate – in fact, being the perfect mate! No wonder most fail at this impossible task!
Very often when our partner does not live up to our expectations we tend to throw in the towel and call it quits. Instead of expecting perfection, remember that your spouse is as human as you. So, make allowances for human frailties and give them the benefit of the doubt.
Commitment
The real formula for a happy marriage is to make plans to stick it out through the tough times and be there for the long haul. Going into a marriage with an exit policy is never a great idea. If you are committed to your partner and the relationship, you will always find a solution to the problems that are inevitable between two people living together. A rough patch is not the end of the road for a relationship. There will be highs and lows like in everything else in life. Just ride the storm and soon the shore will be in sight; you just need some patience and endurance.
Accepting differences
Why do we expect our partner to fit into our framework of what a spouse should be like? When two siblings brought up with similar upbringing by the same parents are so different, why do we expect two people brought up in different families to be alike?
Learning to embrace our differences instead of trying to change the other will go a long way in creating a great marriage. Trying to change the other person instead of accepting them as they are is folly. After all, you loved and married them for who they are, so why would you want to change them after marriage?
Preserve your own identity
The formula for a happy marriage is to make sure that you are independent and maintain your own friendships apart from those of your spouse. If you don’t share similar hobbies or interests, then allow each other space to pursue the things that they enjoy. Learn to appreciate each other’s interests. Try not to rely entirely on your partner for your validation and well-being. Nurture your own friendships while allowing the same attitude to your spouse. It is important for both of you not to lose your own identity and to be yourself.
Communication
Listening to each other’s emotions is the key to building a healthy communication pattern between partners. Try to understand what your partner is feeling and saying. It is not a good idea to have an argument when you are tired or feeling very emotional. Sometimes it is better to take time out, reflect and then resolve issues instead of jumping headlong into a fight. Use ‘I’ statements instead of accusatory ‘you’ statements. After all, both of you are on the same side! There are no winners or losers here.
Domestic Agreements
While the daily chores of who will cook dinner, help children with homework or do laundry might seem very prosaic and unimportant, be assured that these very things will lead to battles royale! Distribute labour equally so that there are no resentments and work out an equitable schedule of chores.
Talk about parenting styles before you have children, for each of you has been brought up in different ways and you may not exactly agree on all things when it comes to bringing up your own child. We all have our own ideas of values, beliefs and traditions, so you and your partner have to arrive at some sort of understanding before the actual task of parenting begins.
Nurturing Intimacy and Emotional Connection
Nurturing intimacy and emotional connection might be one of the most important components of the formula for a happy marriage. Building a happy marriage goes beyond sharing chores and responsibilities—it’s about fostering intimacy and emotional connection. Here are some tips to keep that spark alive:
- Make quality time a priority: Life gets busy, but don’t let it overshadow your relationship. Set aside special moments for just the two of you. Whether it’s a cosy movie night, a spontaneous adventure, or even a simple walk in the park, cherish these moments together.
- Share your deepest thoughts and feelings: True intimacy comes from opening up to each other emotionally. Listen actively and show genuine interest when your partner shares their joys, worries, and dreams. Create a space where both of you can be vulnerable and support each other through thick and thin.
- Show love and appreciation: Little gestures can go a long way in showing your love. Leave sweet notes, surprise your partner with their favourite treat, or give them a warm hug for no reason at all. Let them know that they are cherished and valued.
- Explore common interests: Find activities that you both enjoy and make time for them. Whether it’s cooking together, exploring new hobbies, or going on adventures, shared experiences bring you closer and create lasting memories.
- Let go of grudges and forgive: In any relationship, conflicts are bound to happen. Learn to forgive and let go of past hurts. Holding onto grudges only weighs you down. Instead, focus on finding solutions and growing together.
- Keep the romance alive: Don’t let the romance fade away after the honeymoon phase. Surprise each other with small acts of love, plan romantic dates, and keep the spark alive. Remember the things that made you fall in love and continue nurturing those feelings.
A happy marriage is an ongoing journey that requires effort and commitment from both partners. By nurturing emotional intimacy and connection, you’ll create a strong foundation for a fulfilling and lifelong partnership.
What to Do Once Things Go Wrong
No marriage is immune to challenges and problems. When things go wrong, it is important to remember that it is not the end of the world. Instead of dwelling on the negative, focus on finding solutions and working through the difficulties together.
Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, and learning to deal with it effectively is vital for the growth and well-being of your newly married relationship. Instead of avoiding conflict or letting it escalate, embrace it as an opportunity for growth and understanding. Approach conflicts with empathy, active listening, and a willingness to find a resolution that works for both of you.
When conflicts arise, strive to understand each other’s perspective without judgement or defensiveness. Use “I” statements to express how you feel and avoid blaming or criticizing each other. Focus on finding a compromise or solution that addresses both partners’ needs. Remember that conflicts are not a reflection of your love for each other; rather, they are an opportunity to strengthen your bond by finding common ground and learning from each other’s perspectives.
In conclusion, a happy marriage is not a result of chance or luck. It is a conscious choice to invest in the variables that matter the most. By prioritizing these variables and continuously working on the relationship, couples can build a strong and fulfilling partnership. And this is the formula for a happy marriage.
1to1help is India’s leading Employee Assistance Program (EAP) service provider with a reputation for quality with integrity. We support organizations to improve employee well-being, through a variety of programmes.
Signs It Is Time to Let Go of Your Relationship
Image Source: Freepik
Tushar started dating His best friend from college but soon realized that she was increasingly curt and insulting towards him and his family. She would never have time to meet him or even talk to him over the phone, she would never listen when he talked about work pressures and worse, she wasn’t even there for him when he met with an accident and was hospitalized. She ridiculed his every act and choice, even making fun of the fact that he didn’t have enough facial hair.
In all this, he never received an apology, but Tushar continued to forgive her every hurtful word and action, hoping that in time she would realize her mistakes and acknowledge his love. Even when he found out that she had been cheating on him with his close friend, he was willing to forgive her if she promised not to repeat it.
Some relationships are not made in heaven and certainly not meant to last “till death do us apart”. If one believes they are in such a relationship, it might be better to pull the plug now rather than regret it later. Of course, like most things in life, it is easier said than done – there are several reasons why people stick on in impossible relationships, perhaps hoping for a miracle that would make things better, much like Tushar.
Not all relationships are meant to last forever. Sometimes, we find ourselves in troubled relationships that are no longer healthy or fulfilling. It can be difficult to recognize when it’s time to let go, as our emotions often cloud our judgment.
Understanding when a relationship is no longer healthy
Recognizing when a relationship has become unhealthy is the first step towards healing and growth. It is important to remember that every relationship goes through rough patches, but if the negative aspects outweigh the positive ones, it may be time to reassess the situation. When communication breaks down, trust is lost, and emotional or physical abuse becomes prevalent, it is clear that the relationship is no longer serving its purpose.
One key indicator of an unhealthy relationship is a constant feeling of unhappiness or dissatisfaction. If you find yourself always feeling drained, unhappy, or unfulfilled in your relationship, it may be a sign that it is time to let go. It is important to prioritize your own well-being and mental health above all else. Remember, you deserve to be in a relationship that brings you joy and fulfilment.
Why is it hard to let go?
Call it fool’s paradise or eternal optimism some people are always ‘hoping’ that things will get better. Others believe that the ‘power of their love’ can change their ‘partner’ and yet others feel that love means forgiving one’s partner no matter how many times they err.
Another common fear is- facing friends and family, who know about the relationship and would ask questions or gossip. In popular media, the hero or heroine often takes the decision of calling off the relationship at the altar, but not many real-life people find it easy to take such a decision.
If someone has shared ‘physical intimacy’ with the partner; it also becomes another reason for one to feel compelled to stay in the relationship no matter what.
“Haven’t you heard of a known enemy being better than an unknown angel?” Sometimes this makes people stick by horribly abusive partners because the ‘risk of being alone’ feels scarier. Another related fear is not finding anyone better and settling for less than they deserve in a relationship. However, it’s important to remember that everyone deserves to be in a healthy and respectful relationship.
What would happen if you stay on?
Holding on to a relationship which has gone sour can actually make it worse with increasing dissatisfaction, leading to sadness and despair.
This results in a cycle that only gets progressively more negative- with every turn, the partners get more and more entangled in a web of accusations and blame and ultimately neither knows where the issue began. Unresolved conflicts, over a period of time, have a nasty habit of not only accumulating, and festering until it explodes like a volcano leaving anger, frustration, pain and grief in its wake. Perhaps it is time to let go of your relationship before you get trapped in a downward spiral.
How to decide it is time to let go?
How does one decide whether the relationship is beyond repair? How does one determine whether the fights and disagreements are not normal and will not stop in time?
One must establish whether the relationship still has something positive that can be salvaged or if it is time to part ways. In order to identify “Signs of Unhealthy Relationships” It would help to follow some or all of the following steps:
- Write it down: Write down the reasons you think the relationship will work and the reasons you want to break it up. Also, write down what is likely to happen if you don’t. Writing most often gives the clarity that thinking doesn’t and seeing the facts in black and white is often enough to make a person think more realistically.
- Speak to a trusted person: Friends and family have the ability to observe things objectively, which can provide valuable information and guidance for one’s future. Speak to someone who can be trusted not to divulge the details to all and sundry and someone who cares for you to have your best interests at heart.
- Speak to a Counsellor: Counsellors can give you an objective picture that might be elusive to a friend or family member. Friends might be too protective or biased in their perception, but a counsellor can help you realistically evaluate the chances of success for your relationship.
Signs that it may be time to let go of your relationship
-
Lack of trust and respect
Trust and respect are the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you find that you no longer trust or respect your partner, it may be a sign that the relationship has run its course. Trust can be broken in many ways, such as infidelity or constant lying. Similarly, if your partner consistently disrespects your boundaries, feelings, or values, it may be time to consider letting go.
-
Constant arguments and conflicts
While disagreements are a natural part of any relationship, constant arguments and conflicts can be emotionally draining and detrimental to your well-being. If you find that you and your partner are constantly fighting without resolving the underlying issues, it may be a sign that the relationship is no longer healthy. Healthy relationships involve open communication, compromise, and the ability to resolve conflicts respectfully.
-
Loss of connection and intimacy
Intimacy is an important aspect of any romantic relationship. If you find that you and your partner have lost the emotional or physical connection that once brought you together, it may be a sign that the relationship has reached its expiration date. It is important, to be honest with yourself and your partner about your needs and desires. If those needs are consistently unmet, it may be time to let go and seek a relationship where you can find the love and intimacy you deserve.
One might decide to try and change some aspects of the relationship to make it more fulfilling, or one may even decide to leave the sinking ship.
If you decide to give the relationship another chance, it might be a good idea to keep a time frame in mind. Decide how long you would try to change things and what you would do if you do not see results. It might also be necessary to speak to your partner about expectations from the relationship and involve him /her in making changes.
On the other hand, if you decide to call off the relationship, here are strategies to help you cope with the aftermath.
Coping with the aftermath of ending a relationship
Ending a relationship can be a difficult and painful process. It is normal to experience a range of emotions, including sadness, anger, and confusion. Here are some strategies to help you cope with the aftermath of ending a relationship:
-
Allow yourself to grieve
Ending a relationship involves a loss, and it is important to allow yourself to grieve that loss. Permit yourself to feel the pain and sadness, and don’t try to suppress your emotions. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can provide comfort and understanding during this challenging time.
-
Practice self-care
Taking care of yourself is crucial during the healing process. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you relax. This could include exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies that make you happy. Remember to prioritize self-care and give yourself the love and attention you deserve.
-
Focus on self-improvement
Use this time of healing to focus on self-improvement. Take up new hobbies, learn new skills, or pursue personal goals that you may have neglected during the relationship. Investing in yourself will not only boost your self-esteem but also make you more attractive to potential partners who share your interests and values.
-
Seek professional help if needed
If you find that you are struggling to cope with the aftermath of ending a relationship, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or counsellor can provide guidance and support as you navigate through the healing process. They can help you gain clarity and perspective, and provide tools to help you move forward healthily and positively.
Letting go of a troubled relationship can be a difficult and painful process, but it is often necessary for our growth and well-being. Remember that you deserve to be in a relationship that brings you happiness, love, and fulfilment. Seek professional help if needed. As you rebuild and move forward, embrace the lessons learned and the growth that has occurred. The future holds endless possibilities, and by letting go of what no longer serves you, you open yourself up to a world of new opportunities and happiness.
A Guide to Live in Relationships
Image Source: Freepik
In today’s modern society, relationships have evolved and expanded beyond traditional norms. One such relationship that has gained popularity is the live-in relationship. But what exactly does it mean to be in live in relationships?
A live-in relationship is an arrangement where two individuals choose to live together without being married. It is a form of cohabitation where partners share a domestic life and live together as a couple. This arrangement allows couples to experience a deeper level of commitment and intimacy without the legal binding of marriage.
What is the Meaning of a Live-In Relationship?
A live-in relationship is built on the foundations of love, trust, and companionship. It is a conscious choice made by two individuals to share their lives and responsibilities, without the societal pressures and expectations that come with marriage. In a live-in relationship, partners have the freedom to define their own rules and boundaries, creating a unique dynamic that works best for them.
Unlike marriage, a live-in relationship does not carry the same legal obligations and rights. However, it does offer a sense of emotional and financial security to the individuals involved. It allows them to test their compatibility, learn about each other’s habits and quirks, and determine if they are ready to take the next step towards a more committed relationship or marriage.
Legal Provisions for the Protection of Women in a Live In Relationship in India
In India, the concept of live-in relationships has gained recognition in recent years. The legal system has also acknowledged and addressed the concerns of women who choose to be in such relationships. The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act, 2005, provides protection and legal recourse to women in live-in relationships.
Under this act, a woman in a live-in relationship is entitled to the same rights and protections as a married woman. She can seek legal remedies if she faces any form of physical, emotional, or financial abuse from her partner. The act ensures that women are not left vulnerable and have legal provisions to safeguard their well-being in a live-in relationship.
Legal Provisions for the Protection of Children Born in a Live In Relationship in India
Children born out of live-in relationships are also protected under Indian law. The Supreme Court of India has recognized that children born to unmarried parents have the same rights as children born within a marriage. The status of the parents’ relationship does not affect the rights and privileges of the child.
The Hindu Adoption and Maintenance Act, 1956, grants children born out of live-in relationships the right to inherit property from their parents. The child is also entitled to financial support and maintenance from both parents, regardless of their marital status. These legal provisions ensure that children born in live-in relationships are not discriminated against and are provided with a secure and nurturing environment.
Pros of Live In Relationships
Freedom and Independence
One of the significant advantages of a live-in relationship is the freedom and independence it offers. Partners can maintain their individuality and pursue personal goals while sharing their lives with each other. The absence of legal commitments allows them to explore their own interests and hobbies without feeling tied down.
Compatibility Testing
Living together before marriage provides an opportunity for couples to test their compatibility and understand each other’s habits. It helps in building a stronger foundation for a future together and reduces the risk of entering into a marriage that may not work out in the long run.
Financial Benefits
Sharing living expenses can be a significant advantage of a live-in relationship. Couples can save money on rent, utilities, and other household expenses, allowing them to allocate their resources towards other goals such as travel, investments, or personal growth.
Cons of Live In Relationships
Lack of Legal Protection
The absence of legal recognition and protection is one of the main drawbacks of a live-in relationship. In case of a breakup or dispute, partners may face difficulties in dividing assets or seeking financial support. This can lead to emotional and financial turmoil if the relationship does not work out.
Social Stigma
Despite the increasing acceptance of live-in relationships, there is still a social stigma attached to it in many societies. Couples may face judgment and disapproval from family, friends, and society, which can put a strain on the relationship.
Uncertainty
Unlike marriage, a live-in relationship does not provide a clear roadmap for the future. Partners may feel uncertain about the long-term commitment and stability of the relationship, which can create anxiety and doubts.
Factors to Consider Before Choosing a Live In Relationship
Before entering into a live-in relationship, it is essential to consider certain factors that can contribute to its success:
Open Communication
Effective communication is the key to any successful relationship. Partners should have open and honest conversations about their expectations, boundaries, and long-term goals. It is crucial to be on the same page and address any concerns or fears before moving in together.
Commitment
While a live-in relationship may not carry the same level of commitment as marriage, it still requires a certain level of dedication and commitment from both partners. It is essential to ensure that both individuals are ready for the responsibilities and challenges that come with living together.
Respect and Equality
Mutual respect and equality are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Partners should treat each other with kindness, empathy, and understanding. It is vital to create a safe and nurturing environment where both individuals feel valued and appreciated.
Tips for Successfully Navigating a Live In Relationship
Set Boundaries
Establishing clear boundaries is crucial in a live-in relationship. Discuss and define personal space, privacy, and individual needs. Respect each other’s boundaries and ensure that both partners feel comfortable and secure within the shared living arrangement.
Share Responsibilities
Sharing household chores and responsibilities is essential to maintain a harmonious and balanced relationship. Create a system that works for both partners and ensures fairness and equality in the division of tasks.
Maintain Independence
While living together, it is essential to maintain a sense of individuality and independence. Pursue personal interests, spend time with friends and family, and encourage each other’s growth and development.
Common Myths and Misconceptions about Live In Relationships
It leads to a lack of commitment
Contrary to popular belief, a live-in relationship does not necessarily indicate a lack of commitment. Many couples in live-in relationships are deeply committed to each other and view it as a stepping stone towards a more permanent commitment.
It is a stepping stone to marriage
While some couples may choose to get married after living together, it is not the ultimate goal or purpose of a live-in relationship. Many couples prefer the freedom and flexibility that comes with cohabitation and do not feel the need for a legal commitment.
It is only for the young
Live-in relationships are not limited to a specific age group. Individuals of all ages can choose to live together without getting married. It is a personal choice based on individual preferences and circumstances.
Conclusion
Choosing a live-in relationship is a personal decision that should be based on open communication, mutual respect, and a clear understanding of the advantages and disadvantages. It offers couples a unique opportunity to test their compatibility, build a deeper connection, and experience the joys and challenges of living together. While it may not be the right choice for everyone, for those who are willing to embrace the uncertainties and complexities, a live-in relationship can be a fulfilling and enriching experience.
So, if you are considering a live-in relationship, take the time to evaluate your expectations, communicate openly with your partner, and ensure that you are both ready for the journey ahead. Remember, every relationship is unique, and it is up to you to define what love means to you.
If you or someone you know is facing challenges in a relationship, 1to1help is here to support you. We offer a range of programs to help improve employee well-being and provide guidance for navigating the complexities of relationships. Reach out to us today for professional assistance and support. Visit www.1to1help.net